Easter weekend

Okay, so apparently Easter Sunday is this weekend. I had no idea until my daughter pointed it out. I don’t know why, but Easter always seems to sneak up on me like this.

I would like to do a big Easter post, but the thing is I really don’t do Easter cartoons. In fact, the only two I could find were done for my hunting panel at BigGameHunt.net. I even went through all the roughs I have sitting around, and while I found cartoons for Christmas, Halloween, Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, and even Arbour Day, I found bugger all for Easter. Why I've neglected this particular holiday is beyond me, but I do intend to remedy the situation and start writing a bevy of Easter related material so that next year’s post will be nothing short of spectacular. In the meantime, please make do with the following gags.

And now, just to pad things out a bit, here's an egg related cartoon, and while it's not technically about Easter, there is that egg / Easter connection that kind of makes it relevant to this post. (Just work with me, people!)

Well, that's it - slim pickings I know. If you're hungry for more Easter humour check out these pictures of people traumatizing kids with their creepy Easter Bunny costumes.  

Enjoy your weekend, everybody!

Later.

Death and Taxes

Hey gang!

It’s everyone’s favourite time of the year – TAX TIME (or as I like to call it, The Yearly Curse-a-thon). Here in good ol’ Quebec we get to do a federal AND a provincial return, so it’s twice the fun!

Anyway, no use bellyaching. As the old saying goes, the only two certainties in life are death and taxes, and so with this in mind I've decided to post a bunch of death and taxes cartoons. As you’ll see, I have way more cartoons about death than taxes because of the two I find death less depressing. If neither subject appeals to you, then perhaps this site would be more to your liking. Otherwise scroll on down. Click the images for a larger view.

Let's get things started with TAXES:

Man, those tax guys give me the willies! 

And now DEATH:

See? Doesn't Death come across as more likable? 

Well, that does it for today. For more death related cartoon fun check out my listing at CartoonStock

Later, people!

MARCH MADNESS!

So, here we are, March 19^th - spring is just around the corner. And what will I be doing later today? This:

And, yes, I do actually swear like that in my head.

What's particularly cruel about a March blizzard is that it usually arrives right after we've been given a glorious taste of spring. Last week it was relatively warm and the snow had started melting away. Sidewalks and streets were bare - I could finally ditch my winter boots for a pair of runners! Today we're back to square one.

#@&%$£*!!!

There is one thing, and one thing only, that March snow is good for. The warmer weather makes the snow sticky and wet, which is perfect for making snowmen. And so, with this in mind, I decided to post a few snowman cartoons. 

As much as I hate the snow I do like doing snowman cartoons, because snowmen are astoundingly easy to draw. Three circles - bing, bang, bong - and they don't have to be perfect. In fact, it's better if the circles are a bit wonky - makes the snowman look more natural. After all, the average snowman usually looks like this:

Let's start things off with a couple of dick jokes. Both these cartoons are available as Christmas cards from the good folks at NobleWorks.

Penis humour should be a part of
everyone's Christmas traditions.

This next one is also a NobleWorks card.

This last cartoon came about when I was messing around in my sketch pad and thought, ha ha, if I place the bottom part of the snowman in the middle he'll look like a body builder. 

Well, no use delaying the inevitable. Time to fire up the blower and get to work.

'Til next time.

ERIN GO BRAGH!

Well, Sunday is Saint Patrick’s Day, and as I intend to celebrate by drinking my fair share of the estimated 13 million pints of Guinness consumed worldwide on this occasion and, therefore, will be in no condition to write my own name let alone a blog post, I've decided to jump the gun and post a bunch of Saint Patrick’s Day cartoons a few days early. Most of these were originally done for my weekly cartoon feature at BigGameHunt.net. Click the image for a larger view. Enjoy!

Well, that'll do it for now. Have a great Saint Patrick's Day everyone! And please drink responsibly (I'm going to need someone to drive me home from the pub).

Later, folks!

 

UPDATE: I can't believe I did a Saint Patrick's Day post and didn't include my Irish Canadian flag!

 

 

 

For anyone interested in spending their money foolishly on weird shit like this,

t-shirts and other clothing featuring the image are available at my Cafe Press store.

 



 

SO LONG, TARZAN, WE HARDLY KNEW YA!

Hello (insert your name here)...

Well, I recently learned that all my Tarzan cartoons have been removed from my listing at CartoonStock. The well-known ape man now joins other pop culture characters on the list of banned subjects for cartoon satire. Fear of lawsuits is the reason, which says a lot about the times we live in. Oh well, what can you do? In the end it’s no big lose – I only had three Tarzan cartoons uploaded to the site, and it’s not like they were big money earners. And on the plus side it did provide me with a subject for another blog post, so let’s get to it.

Here now are the three Tarzan cartoons – be warned: laughing could result in legal action!

The main focus of my Tarzan humour usually involves him being raised by animals other than the great apes. For example, in the above cartoon I imagine what his life would be like if he was raised by cute, little hamsters, while in the next cartoon...

... I depict him as he'd be if he was raised by disgusting leeches. This cartoon, by the way, happens to be a personal favourite, but has found no love in the world as it tends to creep  people out. 

The third and final cartoon is the oldest of the bunch and was actually voted Cartoon of the Week by my fellow cartoonists at the Wisenheimer web site.

And now, just for shits and giggles, here are a few more cartoons that have been dropped or rejected by the site.

That pretty much does it for today. Thanks for stopping by, (insert your name here).

 'Til next time!

A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS

Howdy fellow blog dancers...

Thought I'd post a few of my favourite cartoons. I'd say more but it's almost time for The Walking Dead.

 

 

Okay, the show is starting - please, no phone calls for the next hour.

See ya!

IT'S NOT ALL BAD.

Greetings my fellow bloglodytes...

In my last post I presented a bunch of cartoons which, for whatever reason, failed to score in the marketplace. It has since occurred to me that showcasing one's failures is probably not the smartest way to promote your work. So just to prove I'm not a total loser, here are a few of my all-time greatest hits!

Be warned: a man was recently arrested for laughing too loudly in his own home, so try and show some restraint when viewing the hilarious cartoons that follow (although, to be honest, it would be one hell of an ego boast to have even one person laugh so hard at my cartoons they ended up being dragged off to jail - just saying).

Now, on with the show!

Let's start things off with a re-do of one of the first cartoons I ever sold.The original drawing was very primitive, and even had a spelling error in the body of the cartoon (which was corrected by the very nice editor that purchased it. Note to all budding cartoonists: editors are not usually this accommodating - check and recheck your work before submitting). I did try to locate the original drawing to include with this post, but it's nowhere to be found, and most likely was fed to the shredder once the newer version was ready.

The idea for this cartoon came about when I was working on a series of gags for a line of sports-themed t-shirts (try saying that three times fast). Unfortunately the company went belly-up before I had a chance to submit the idea. I have since placed the image on my own line of t-shirts at Cafepress. Total sales to date: 0. (So much for the fantasy that this cartoon could have saved the company from bankruptcy.) Undaunted I uploaded it to my listing at CartoonStock where it has proved to be quite popular. Go figure.

 

And now we come to the big Kahuna - the most popular of them all! This has been a consistent seller since the day I finished it. It is also the most stolen cartoon I've ever done. In fact just yesterday my good buddy, Andy White, pointed out its illegal use on some piece of shit's Facebook fan page which was set up to promote his web site (what I really love is that this ass-wipe actually has a copyright notice posted on his web page. I guess he doesn't want anyone ripping off the stuff he's gone to the trouble of ripping off. Just for the record, placing a copyright notice on stolen material doesn't magically make it yours, no more than writing your name on someone's property allows you to claim ownership.)

 

Well, I think I've taken enough of your time. Hope you had a good laugh - but not too good. No cartoon is worth going to prison over!

 

'Til next time...

 

 

ODE TO THE UNLOVED.

Greetings blogoholics...

Well, the recent Jackson Beaver post landed with a tremendous thud, so I figured if my bout of nostalgia failed to tickle your fancy, maybe you'd enjoy a post featuring cartoons that only I seem to find funny (because nothing attracts a readership more than a bunch of cartoons that nobody likes).

Anyway...

It's always my hope that every cartoon I draw will find love and acceptance when I send it out into this dark and cruel world, but, alas, on occasion one is sent back to me, creased and dog-eared and covered in coffee stains. That's the nature of the biz, folks. The problem is, I'm a stubborn bastard, and I can't let go of the idea that these cartoons are some of the funniest 'toons I've ever done, and so, with that in mind, I present them to you now. 

This first cartoon I did after watching a news report on competitive eating and thinking, man, how does this not end in a massive puke-fest? And that's when the idea for a competitive vomiting competition following on the heals of the competitive eating competition was born. 

When I first thought of the above cartoon I couldn't wait to draw it up - generally I'm not that enthusiastic and tend to let ideas sit for a few days, see if they still seem funny once the initial burst of creative excitement has worn off. But this one I loved from the get-go, and still do all these years later. 

Okay, I have to admit, I knew Cleaning Day was going to be a tough sell long before I ever put pen to paper, but, I don't know, I just love the look of it, and it never fails to make me laugh. So sue me!

I'm sorry, but as far as I'm concerned, if you don't laugh at the above cartoon then you have no soul! I mean, come on, it mixes ancient mythology with cross-dressing - if that doesn't add up to hilarity then I don't know what does! C'mon, people, work with me here!

And with that we come to the end of yet another post. Leave me comments if you're so inclined. 

See ya!

RISING FROM THE ASHES... sort of.

Hey gang!

Well, I recently discovered a site called Reocities which is dedicated to resurrecting all the web sites that were once a part of the old Geocities free web hosting service.  My first web site was with Geocities, so I was pretty excited to see if it had risen from the ashes, but, alas, while the address is active, the site is empty of all content.

The site was actually started by my buddy, John McFetridge. Back in the early 90s he was active in the Canadian film industry and had written a movie about a cartoonist whose cartoon creation was a ill-tempered beaver named Jackson. In the movie Jackson appears as an animated character only the cartoonist can see. He asked me if I'd be interested in providing a bunch of cartoons featuring Jackson that could be used to promote the script and would be featured as the cartoons drawn by the film's main character should the movie be made. This sounded like a fun project and, I have to admit, I had a great time doing it. The film unfortunately didn't find funding and was never produced. Somewhere in all the time he spent running to lawyers and meeting with the money people John set up the Jackson Beaver Web Site. When the film fell through he passed the site on to me.

My hope here was to link to the original web site, but that ain't gonna happen, so instead I thought I'd post a few of my favourite Jackson Beaver adventures. So, here we go!

Jackson exposes the bullshit of the PC movement in this, the first JB cartoon I ever did.

A lot of people didn't get this cartoon. I always had to explain its connection to the old I Love Lucy show. Even then people rarely found it very funny, but I like it, so here it is.



These next three cartoons have what I like to think of as "celebrity guests" from the world of cartooning.



This one really cracks me up.

This last one is a straight-up gag, but I think it works really well and says a lot about the Jackson Beaver character.



There are other JB cartoons, but this will do for now. Maybe I'll post more at some future date.

As for John McFetridge, Jackson's creator, he's now a critically acclaimed crime novelist. You can find his books for sale online here (Canada) and here (U.S.). You can find his blog here. January Magazine did a great interview with John, and you can find that here.

That's it, people - go back to whatever it was you were doing (except for you, Kevin, you sick bastard).

Later!


MYSTERIOUS UPDATE: Last night after reading this post my wife asked me why I hadn't include the Jackson Beaver Cow Poem, and that's when I realized the cow peom cartoon was missing! And it's not the only one! (Cue eerie theremin music.)